I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
