It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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