I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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