Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
