Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
