Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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