Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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