I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
