You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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