Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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