No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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