How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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