so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
