im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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