ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
