Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
