I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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