I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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