i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
