Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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