Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
