But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
