All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I pour the whiskey from now on
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
