NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
