This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
