that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
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