She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
