Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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