So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
