I puked a lego.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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