Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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