drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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