remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
