he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
