Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
