Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
