You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This house was built for laser tag.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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