But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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