You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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