he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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