My liver just broke up with me...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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