I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
