even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
