Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
