and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
