i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
