my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
