Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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