She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I didn't shave. On purpose
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
