and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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