There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
